Scary Close

Scary Close Summary

When it comes to authenticity, is being fully yourself always worth the risk? From the author of Blue Like Jazz comes New York Times bestseller Scary Close, Donald Miller's journey of uncovering the keys to a healthy relationship and discovering that they're also at the heart of building a healthy family, a successful career, and a trusted community of friends.

After decades of failed relationships and painful drama, Miller decided that he'd had enough. Trying to impress people wasn't helping him truly connect with anyone--and neither was pretending to be someone he wasn't. He'd built himself a life of public isolation, but he dreamed of having a life defined by meaningful relationships instead. At 40-years-old, he made a scary decision: he was going to be his true self no matter what it might cost.

Scary Close tells the story of Miller's difficult choice to impress fewer people and connect with even more. It's about the importance of knocking down old walls to finally experience the freedom that comes when we stop playing a part and start being fully ourselves.

In Scary Close, Miller shares everything he's learned firsthand about how to:
Deconstruct the old habits that no longer serve usOvercome the desire to please the people around usAlways tell the truth, even when it's hardFind satisfaction in a daily portion of real loveRisk being fully known in order to deeply love and be lovedApply these lessons to your everyday life
If you're ready to drop the act and find true, life-changing intimacy, it's time to get Scary Close.

Book Reviews


Will it ever get old?5 star

My wife and I read this book during our engagement and have since given it to several friends as wedding gifts. I decided it was time I read back through it to confirm it actually made a good gift, and I found it once again to be profoundly impactful. So often, once you know the punch lines of a book it loses its potency. But Don uses story to expertly take his readers on a journey, speaking tangible and intangible truths into relationships in such a way that I don’t expect this book to ever collect too much dust on our shelf.55


Amazing5 star

Great book....self help in a way that is showing how it’s done...not a step by step at but leading by example.55

nicholas r anthony

Transparent and tremendous literature5 star

Every relationship is teleological, especially the relationship you have with yourself. I’ve been a manipulator that has jumped around from relationship to relationship trying to fill a hole that can’t be filled by a humans touch and been driven by money thinking happiness will reside in it. Happiness is a journey, not an end goal and Don’s raw openness and intimate stories help strip off the heavy clothing that has been weighing me down for so many years and revealed a world within myself where there is so much hope and love. Thanks for being so good at relationships Mr. Miller! God bless!55


The scary close5 star

Great book it showed me brokenness. It showed me weakness it's showed me I was scared of been authentic it changed my life. For 16 years I was hidden behind my issues but this book let me see myself in a clearer image. Love use to scare me and commitment was a nightmare. Now I am a better person through the Grace and love of God. This book is everything people say it is and more.55


Like my biography5 star

I'm usually a "highlighter" when I read books and certain passages speak to me...I found myself nearly highlighting this entire book. Don's choosing of ways to bring his emotions and experiences to life resignated with my soul, and I'm a changed man because of this book. Thank you Don.55


Scary Close is Scary Awesome!5 star

I loved every page. Donald Miller knows how to speak the truth and make the truth pleasant to hear despite that the truth can be hard to swallow. I read this book and couldn’t put it down. Definitely changed the way I view myself and my fear of intamcy. I have read many of Donald Miller’s books and this is one of my favorites next to Blue Like Jazz and Searching For God Knows What.55


Taking off the mask5 star

This book is incredible. Miller writes with authenticity and transparency. He isn't afraid to write what his audience needs to hear. This book has changed my life and has taught me how to take off my titles and masks and build a foundation of intimacy that will forever impact the people closest to me.55


NO WORDS...5 star

As I finished up the last paragraph I set in aw of what I just read. There was so many different point in the book when it was like he had been reading my mail. So many issues and thoughts that I've delt with or in some cases didn't even realize I had been dealing with that issue. Such a great book!55

Jared Zajac

Scary Close5 star

This has been a book I've been wanting to read for 10 months now. The prompting me this morning was so great that I cleared my schedule to stay home and read it. This book couldn't have come to me at a more precise time. The Lord has had me on a recent journey teaching me to find my identity and how to love beautifully and recklessly... I wept through this book, laughed through it but most of all was blown away by how the Lord pursued me in it. The building blocks and truths in this book are beginning to change my life. I can't wait to grow forward with them. Thanks for "being great at relationships" Donald!55


A far cry from the expected2 star

I am a tremendous fan of Donald Miller's work; as his style, insight, vulnerability, and humor have always been inspiring and refreshing. Unfortunately, this book seems a deviation from what I enjoyed in his other work. Stylistically, the book is solid. However, the delivery and tone were unsettling to me. In the moments of vulnerability, the reader is reminded that they are reading a book by best selling author, Donald Miller. Many of the stories he shares include friends; most of them prestigious, successful, or famous. This is also pointed out in repetition; which becomes tiresome. While thematically I was excited before starting the book, as I've concluded reading, I can't say I'd recommend this as a deep, refreshing, and insightful book.25

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